Split Ends

It's 12:14..well now 12:15am on a Monday morning..or is it evening because I am still up from Sunday? Who knows. All I know is that this is the 9th time I've paused my movie on netflix in the past 2 hours. The first time was to go downstairs and eat some chèvre with a pastelito de guava that my parents brought back from Puerto Rico. The second time was to go brush my teeth. Then I unpaused and paused a couple more times after that. Around the 7th pause I decided to trim the top half of my hair! That's when I decided I'd write this blog post, but I may or may not have gotten distracted by the flashing symbols of the internet and other reminders in my brain and one thing I needed to edit on my website. Then I went back to my movie and remembered that I meant to write this blog post. So here it is, folks.

It's 12:18am now and the more I think about it, the more I think that maybe this blog post is a little lame - and that's okay - because it means something to me. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, actually. How many times have I allowed myself to not write, to not speak, or to not even think about the thoughts I have?? Sometimes I try to push it away for fear of looking stupid or sounding dumb. But the reality is that I am who I am because God created me this way. God created me with, what I believe is, a really cool way of thinking. I take things to the next level and can create an abstract thought out of something simple and concrete. I'm almost very philosophical in a playful manner.

It's 12:23am now and I promise I'm going to get to the point of this post. As I was trimming my hair I discovered a new analogy. Thanks be to God that I have amazing hair. I mean, it's thick, grows at a nice pace, and it's got great volume. However, my hair just atrocious when it has split ends. Split ends are unhealthy to the growth of my hair and don't look good - AT ALL - yet I keep them for as long as possible in order to not have to chop any of my hair off (and risk looking like a 12 year old). So at midnight this made me think...how many people, things, boxes, etc have I allowed myself to keep, even though they're tearing me down? Why is it so hard to say no and easy to say yes? What fears are trying to hold me back from being my "healthiest"?

It's 9:15am and I'm adding one more thing to this blog post: It's time to cut off the split ends. Who cares if your hair is a little short? It'll keep growing! And it'll be healthier! It's time to cut off the split ends. 

What to do when the love of your life doesn't know he's the love ofyour life (yet)

Your tender heart swoons every time you see Mr.McDreamy at church/small group/the grocery store/wherever it is that you see him. He's the tallish handsome guy with the dark brown eyes and that adorable 5 o'clock shadow (or whatever it is you like in a guy). And the best part? Oh the best part is how much he loves Jesus and his family and his friends. The best part is that he's caring, giving, selfless, and he desperately values His relationship with Christ above all else.

And there you are. Praying every. single. day. "Lord, please let today be the day John Doe asks me to marry him." (because I mean you basically already have the name of your grandchildren picked out so why waste time dating, amiright?!?!) - You can't help it. Your girly hormones are kicking in and you're ready to stop being the mom of the group and finally be a mom to your precious little kiddos.

Oooh but here's the hard part. You feel like he doesn't even know you exist. You're starting to feel so lonely and like it's just never going to happen. You're pretty sure he likes your friend and not you (because let's be real...the "your friend is soo pretty" text is one you get all too often). So now you're thinking, "Oh my goodness maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe I need to be nicer. Maybe I need to dye my hair blonde. What am I doing wrong?!?!"

Girl. Let me stop you right there. First of all, let me reassure you that it's 100% okay to desire a Godly relationship that will challenge you, exemplify the love that Christ has for His church, and give you kiddos (if that's what you want).

Secondly, you are beautiful. If you ever feel like you're comparing yourself or changing who you are because of a the guy you're interested in, that's not bueno (good)! The man that God has for you will never make you second guess how much he loves you. He will never make you second guess your beauty (regardless of whether or not you're wearing makeup). He will push you forward in a healthy way. He will encourage you to achieve greatness because that's what God has for you. He'll fully support your dreams and dream with you. He'll lend his hand with whatever project you're working on. He'll pray for you and with you. He'll pursue you and make sure you know how treasured you are. Don't believe the lies of satan saying that you'll never be good enough or pretty enough or smart enough. Comparison is a thief!

Thirdly, realize that the guy you think is so great...may not be "the one". I'm so sorry babe! But it's the truth. Don't worry though. God has him picked out for you :)

So while you're waiting for the right man to pursue you, pray. Pray pray pray. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what qualities you should be looking for in a man and what qualities He wants you to keep and develop. Pray that God would continue to develop the Godly man that's inside of your future husband. Keep working towards your current goals! Learn how to do your taxes and balance a budget and put air in your tires. Don't spend so much time daydreaming about the future that you forge to live in the present. Love the family you have, treasure your friends, and give out of what the Lord has poured into you.

xo,
Lily Garay

F*r*i*e*n*d*s

Well since it's everyone is talking about "Friends" being on Netflix, I thought I'd talk about my real friends.

Yesterday I drove to Liberty University to visit my good friend, Ashley Lawrence,

for her 19th birthday (girl in stripes).

It was really fun to see my friends again and celebrate!

I hadn't really seen them in a while so it was a good time. 

I sorta kinda miss not living in the same area as all of my friends. 

Here's to Ashley, having a car, and friends <3 p="">

because if Britney Spears can make it through 2007, then I can make it through this day

My day started off with me rolling out of bed around 7:10am and being pumped by this text message.

I left for my 7:40 Biblical Worldview class at 7:37. Got there at 3:47 (it's an 8 minute walk) and the instructor, Dr.Matthews, STILL hadn't started the reading/attendance quiz! Jesus is good! Amen?

I actually made it through the class awake...shocker, I know! Afterwards I went to my English 102 class. ENG 102 is actually my #1 fave class this semester. Not gonna lie.

After ENG I went to Evangelism class. It was pretty fantastic. That's my second most favorite class!
We shared our testimonies to the people next to us and I had no idea the way my "partner" felt. So I am really glad we did that. During class it was announced that there was going to be an evan outreach event at 6pm so I blocked off that chunk of time to go out with them.

After EVAN I went to my Aural Skills class for testing. It was so so so great. That's my third favorite class. After Jon and I took our test we went to the bookstore with Jemell and bought coffees for $1 and I bought one for Profe Feldman . Which led to this lovely email about Miley Cyrus' song "Wrecking ball" that I was singing earlier in class. (HAHAHAhahahaHAH):

After that I went back to my room and brought Jemell to my common area and he watched a movie while I took a shower. Let me just say..I love mid day showers lol. I got to talk to my dad earlier too. Then Jemell and I went to choir. Choir let out early so I went back to my common area to chill for 10 minutes, went to the Tilley and got a meatbull sub, and headed for the EVAN thing!

Turns out this guy Andrew and Rob sent out the WRONG text!! But Aaron (from my EVAN class showed up) and so did I! So Andrew, Aaron, and I went to the bookstore and just talked to people and prayed for them. Then as we were on the drive to Wal-mart to go talk to more people and just ask them if they needed prayer ANDREW asked if I was the girl who sang a song at open mic night..I said yes..he said he had recorded me, and only me, because it was so amazingly awesome and that sometimes he pulls out the video and listens to it!! HOW COOL IS THAT?!! Well anyways we went to wal-mart and got to pray for some people :)

Last, but not least, I went to Bdubs and cookout with my prayer group. It was incredible. I cried and laughed and was just so so so honest. I had a great talk with Kelsey.

Afterwards I got to ride in a cop car to my dorm whoop whoop.

TBH this was really just like a journal entry and pretty crappy and possibly lame, but..

It's 2:28am and I have an 8:50 class :-)

Jueves a domingo :

Mmmm pues el jueves recibe una beca de la escuela y fui a una ceremonia pero antes relaje todo el día después de escribí dos ensayos y termine la escuela:D El viernes fui a trabajar y comer con mi abuela y después fui a mi casa y limpie mi cuarto, y después la mama de Christian invito a mi y mi amiga a comer con ella y Chandler para celebrar que recibe la beca y que Chandler recibió un certificado de español en la escuela y Lina recibió un certificado de ser la estudiante mejor de toda la escuela.

Hay una cosa que se llama "yard sales" y personas vende su ropa o cosas que ya no usan, pero lo venden al frente de su casa y usualmente es los sábados por la primavera. Entonces fuimos ayer a muchas casas a ver y compre mucha ropa y sólo gaste como $10 para ropa. Después fui a una boda y después Lina y yo fuimos a la iglesia con dos amigos para adorar al señor.

Y hoy fue día del joven y brincamos en castillos de aire, fui a una iglesia para enseñarles español para cuando vayan a Honduras, y ahorita regrese de una fiesta y ahora estoy hablando con vos :D

Done with High School

So I wanna give a shout out to los Padres. Thank you thank you thank you for loving me enough to homeschool me, let me attend AHS, and intern throughout these 4 years of high school. You both allowed me so much creative freedom and always pushed me to do my best, pursue excellence, clean my room, and persevere. I know that I am truly blessed to have you both as parents.

Today was my last day of high school and I am SO glad!!!! Also, to top it all off, I received a letter from Divine Women of Destiny Ministries Intl saying that I won the Freddie Murray Colligate Scholarship.

Thank you to everyone who's been keeping up with me these last few years or even months. Your support and love is always appreciated.

--

Le quiero dar gracias a mis padres!! Gracias por siempre me empujarme a hacer lo mejor posible, buscar la excelencia, limpiar mi habitación, y perseverar  los quiero mucho.

Hoy fue mi ultimo día del colegio! Y para terminar el día, recibe una carta en el correo que dijo que yo recibe la beca de Freddie Murray.

Gracias a todos los que han amado y me han apoyado. Los aprecio mucho

Prayer Journal

Good morning Lord. I'm praying to you through the journaling method today. I love you. Like...a lot. I'm sorry that I don't always remember how much you love me.

Lately I've been battling with the same depression that I did last winter. Except this time not so severe. Not gonna lie though I have been feeling like a failure and pretty bummed out. I've been trying so so so so so so so hard in math. Going early, staying after school, doing all my homework..and yet my efforts seem wasted. My grade is a 66. My total grade for the year is a 65. I'm also failing English. But I honestly don't even try hard in that class so I understand that. I just need to write this essay thing.

Well anyways I just want to say thank you for loving me. For reminding me that you love me. For using my Honduran friends (and american friend, Jocelyn) to remind me of the hope that is you.

I have to go now because I have an SOL. I'm really scared I'm not going to pass it. Jesus, I seriously need your help. Just give me peace please.

Thanks,
Lily

Why I am excited

Tomorrrroooow it's comiiiinggggg!!!
I've worked SO hard on this concert.
After many reschedulings due to snow...
It's finally here.

My Life and Love Benefit Concert! #LLBC #LLBC2014

I am beyond excited. I'm nervous.

I don't think anyone really has any idea how hard I have worked for this.

I worked so hard I got sick. Which is bad and taught me a great lesson.

Anyways I don't need anybody to know how "hard I worked".
I just want people to enjoy the concert and for the Bolivia Life Center to be benefited.

#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014#LLBC #LLBC2014

February was awesome because...

It's Winter. I don't like Winter. It's cold and muggy and dry. All the leaves are brown and everything looks dead. Safe to say I don't like Winter because it's a little depressing and well...last Winter I got really depressed. So I've been holding on to my faith, to happiness, and to love. Growing a relationship with Jesus is the best thing ever. So what are some of the things that made enduring February possible and awesome?

2/11/14

A wonderful family decided to give me a car!!!!!! A CAR!!!!!! But you can read more about that here. 

2/14/14

The oh-so-dreaded Valentine's Day.

SO MUCH FUN!

Let's see....snowball fight, big bruise, hanging out with my

family friends. It was a really great day. 

2/18/14

I decided to change my goal. I don't want to just sell out MSG (Madison Square Garden) anymore! 

When I saw Justin Bieber's 1st documentary, that's what he wanted.

I feel like I was saying that I wanted to sell out MSG

 while I was trying to figure out what my own dream was. 

I figured, "Hey he's successful. Let me try what he's doing." 

It was kind of a placeholder while I figured out what I wanted my dream to be.

And then I realized..I don't want to just sell out MSG.

My business marketing coach/mentor, Alex Beadon,

posted something on instagram saying, "Is it weird that I carry this list of the top ten long-term reasons to work hard today? It keeps me so motivated and on track! Try making one for yourself, you'll see! :)#inspiredwithalex" 

So I made a list. And it got me thinking. Really thinking. 

What does Lily Garay want. 

Then I said, "Scratch that."

What are the dreams God has placed inside of me?

So I made a list. 

Here are a couple of the things on that list that motivate me

to work hard every day.

-I want to sell out a headlining world tour. 

-Open Vocational schools in South & Central America

-I want to be a successful millionaire

via

2/23/14

I got accepted to the Liberty University School of Music

and it is set in stone that I am going there!

Can I be honest?

I'm really excited about going! I know it'll be amazing.

I know it'll be one of the best experiences of my life.

I guess I'm just a little nervous about changing. 

I mean I'm all for change and I think it's great and super necessary, but

I feel like it's a big goodbye to a lot of things.

To familiarity. 

To finally finding my comfort zone.

And I guess that's why going to Liberty is necessary for me.

because i'll be leaving the comfort zone.

and leaving the comfort zone is what's going to make me grow even more.

And so that was February. 

I'm so ready for March. 

BRING IT ON.

Ps OH AND I GOT MY PASSPORT!! 

School of Music

So on Saturday my parents let me make a trip to Liberty with my brother all by ourselves!! That was SO exciting for me because I'd never driven so long by myself.

(drive back home)

I went to audition for what I thought was level placement, but it turns out

that it was to see whether or not I'd be accepted to their school of music.

So I was pretty confident when I auditioned. And then they shook my hand and said,
"You're officially accepted into the School of Music. Congratulations!"
Woohoo! I have never been more excited.

I'm the last person I would've imagined studying music in college!! haha.

But here I am..

and I'm excited.

God is doing something

something big

I don't know what

but get ready.

{God is good}

I don't like to brag, but how could I not brag on my amazing God?

We all go through this life in different ways. It's an amazing life. We find joys and sorrows, plans and uncertainty..we find struggle and troubles...but when we find God..truly seek Him and the beautiful plans He has for our lives, good things sure do start to happen.

Before I say anything else I would just like to say that I am a Christian (in case you can't tell yet;). I believe that God does miracles. Big miracles. Small Miracles. I believe He listens to the inside of our heart and that I don't even have to say what I need/want, He already knows. All I have to do is seek Him and He'll reveal it to me or give it to me! He truly blesses me each and every day and I can never repay that kind of mercy or forgiveness. I also want you to know that even though I'm not perfect by any means, I do try to live my life devoted to Him. I believe my purpose is to spread His gospel and my identity is found in being His child. That's my life message.

First of all, I have an amazing family! Two great parents. Yes, we have our little disagreements, but honestly who doesn't? And my siblings..well they're some of the greatest people (even though I complain about them). I recently discovered that I might go a little crazy when I don't have them with me all the time at college later this year! Also, I never really realized what a privilege it is to be a Pastor's Kid. I'm not trying to make myself sound "high and mighty", but it really is a privilege and I thank God for it.

Second of all, I have amazing friends and a fantastic church family. These past few months I've really grown close to God because I believe I've started placing myself around the right people. I've been confronted and had to take on more responsibility. I've learned to say no to the wrong things and yes to the right things. Yes, I still make mistakes, but that's all part of the learning process.

Third, I have an iPhone. I think that's pretty cool. I mean God knows I needed a phone to do work off of. I can definitely say that phone has helped me earn money.

Fourth, I am part of an AWESOME church! I get to be on the worship team and I didn't even realize what big of a responsibility it is!! But I truly love it.

Fifth, (5 = favorite number just fyi) So then November came..and I got accepted to college! Pretty cool..! I'm going to Liberty University :)

Sixth, I got a mac. Like what? I wasn't expecting that. Totally Debt-Free. My family doesn't believe in any kind of debt. Debt = no bueno. Yes, it's important to build good credit and stuff like that, but if you can pay it in full at that instant, do it! Debt = no bueno.

Seventh, I got a car!!!!!!!! I said my family believes in not having debt..right? Well part of not having any debt meant not getting into debt for a car. So when I got my license, my mom and I just shared a car (and my dad would occasionally let me use his;). I had no problem with this. But in 2012 I had been praying for a car for my 16th birthday. No car. 2013 I prayed for a car because well "God, I really need it". No car. 2014 rolled around and college plans started coming into play..no plans for a car..until someone (and not mentioning any names), a family, gave me a car. On 2/11/2014 I got my very own car. Debt free. I don't think I could ever repay that family. Not because of the cost of the car, but because of the value behind the gift. The meaning. God has a perfect time for everything.

He doesn't say no. He either says "Yes" "Not Yet" or "I Have Something Better".

XO,

Lily Garay

stillness

there's nothing like feeling numb.

feeling as though you don't belong.

feeling forgotten and alone.

there's nothing like having God pick you up.

feeling loved and like you have a purpose.

feeling like there's meaning.

there's nothing like pushing your plans aside.

feeling like you don't have to do this on your own and that He's there.

feeling like everything will be okay.

when you trust in His stillness.

Your Innermost

     They say that within your innermost being, the deepest darkest depths, within the loneliness and fear, that is where you truly find yourself.
     Does anyone else know who "they" is? Like seriously. Who said that? I mean yes, it's true that when you're forced to look at the nasty parts that you don't want to touch you can come out a new person. But what if you don't have to do that? Or if you've already done that but you still aren't the person you want to be?
     What if the answer is right there? Smack dab in the middle of your forehead for lack of a better example. What if the answer to who you are lays in the 17 muscles it takes to form your mouth into a smile?

A Wish (part 1)

15 January 2014

A Wish

by Lily Garay

    I once saw something online that said, “When you look back you don’t want to have regrets.” It seems as though my life is full of regrets. Okay maybe that’s an over exaggeration. At least when I look back at my second to last semester of high school I have regrets. My senior year has definitely been memorable so far. I feel as though I’ve uncovered parts of myself I never knew existed. Freedom was within grasp and I reached for it. Testing my boundaries and toying with new ideas. Establishing my own views and beliefs and letting go of insecurities. I had never really realized that I was being shaped to become my own person and now I have the responsibility I always desired. I could finally make most of my own decisions. However all of this is only part of my discovery on the odyssey of my life and while the positives outweigh the negatives a piece of me has composed a wish. A long list of wishes, regrets, and things I could take back. Words I could’ve changed, things I should’ve done, and a life better lived. These are the pages I’ve been formulating in my head for months.

    I’m a firm believer in exploring and asking questions. Being raised as a pastor’s kid I would sometimes wonder if I was only a Christian because my parents were. Through much study, research, and personal experience I can firmly say that asking Jesus Christ to be the Lord and Saviour of my life was the best decision I have ever made. As I studied my Bible more I read about respecting your parents and how honoring them will bring you long life. I never really thought I was one to test my parents, but it turns out that even though I’m not a “problem child” I do need to have some more respect for the people that brought me into this world. I wish I would’ve realized that sooner. I wish I hadn’t silently cussed them out in my mind so many times. I wish I would do as I’m told right away. I wish I could be the favorite child.

    As I finish up my last semester of high school and prepare for college I realized that I don’t spend that much time at home anymore. I’ve gone a week or two without spending any real quality time with my parents or siblings. What I didn’t notice was that my younger sister, Ana who is 14 years old, looks up to me. I never thought I was the type of sister she would want to look up to, but she does. I didn’t know she missed me and she didn’t know I missed her. My younger brother, Dito who is 15 years old, also missed me. Turns out that he wished I spent more time with him. I got so caught up going out with friends and working that in my own whirlwind of needs that I didn’t realize my family needed me and I needed them. I wish I would’ve taken my sister bowling more. I wish I would’ve chaufferred her around more because in all honesty, I love it. I wish I would’ve held my brother’s hand more. I wish I would’ve played more video games with him.  I wish I could become the person they can always look up to. I wish I would’ve spent more time with them and less time with my “friends”. I wish I was a better sister.

    My sister tells me I’m beautiful and so does my brother. My dad has nothing but praise for me. This doesn’t mean that my weight hasn’t been a struggle for me. The most I ever weighed was one hundred and eighty pounds. Then I lost 40 of those pounds. It was wonderful. I had the most amazing confidence. Until the beginning of 2013. I allowed my past to creep into my mind. Depression nestled in the depths of my soul and told me I was worthless. Anxiety and loneliness lurked in the darkness of my mind. And food eased the pain. Food stopped me from regretting things. Food took my mind off things. Food was my friend. I steadily gained back 25 pounds. 25 pounds of pure regret. 25 pounds because someone told me I shouldn’t eat that donut. 25 because someone said if I lost just 10 more pounds I would be drop dead gorgeous. 25 pounds because the media said if I didn’t look like Kim Kardashian my life was pointless and I would be forever alone because there’s no way a girl over 140 pounds is “desirable”. But I wish I would’ve worked out harder. I wish I would’ve still eaten that donut. I wish I would’ve had that extra slice of pizza. I wish I didn’t worry about what others said. I wish people would stop pointing out my flaws.

    My greatest fear is being alone. Actually my greatest fear is all of my teeth falling out, but being alone is definitely second. When I look to the places I would rather leave unexplored it’s really the fear of never getting married. The fear of not having any one who cares about you. The fear of not having any real friends. The fear of being forgotten. But when it comes down to it, I wish I would’ve cried less. I wish I would’ve laughed more. I wish I would’ve said what was really on my mind. I wish I hadn’t so carelessly flaunted my opinions and rude words. I wish someone wanted me as much I want them.

    I wish I wouldn’t have wasted time. I wish I wouldn’t have wasted money. I wish I would’ve done better. I wish I would’ve tried harder. I wish I would’ve gotten all A’s in school. I wish I wouldn’t have procrastinated. I wish I could be a size medium. I wish I never worried. I wish I wasn’t so full of contradictions. I wish I didn’t have so many thoughts always running through my head. I wish I would’ve prayed more.

   As I ponder my past there are many words I wish I could take back. Actions that I could erase. But I can’t because it’s behind me and a wish is simply a feeling. As the new year rapidly closes up it’s first month, I have no doubt that these wishes are something I can finally push aside so that I can start anew. Because the last thing I want is to carry those wishes with me to the very last of my days. Dear Fresh Start, I welcome you. It’s my time to flourish and be the best I can be.

The perfect weekend

when I say perfect, I mean happiest. sure, my weekends are usually filled with fun things, gigs, church, etc. but there was something different this weekend. also, when I say weekend I mean Friday (11/22) through Monday (11/25). 

Friday

It was just another average day at school. I try to make my most out of my time in highschool, but I still find it kind of pointless. Fortunately, it wasn't a completely terrible school day and I actually liked it. Probably because it was Friday and didn't involve any real work (except for English class of course). Anywho, I took the bus home and immediately left to go tutor Chan-the-man (his real name is Chandler).

It is an absolute joy to get to go to his house and help him learn some Spanish. Something about it just makes my day. He basically tells it like it is and is so funny! I also catch him trying to write love notes to me on his board because he thinks I'm his girlfriend. It's quite hilarious because whenever we go out he makes me hold his arm. Friday night was just really fun! Then I went to go to worship practice at 6:30. 

Saturday

I spent Saturday going to the gym, working on music, and using my phone. 

I also spent an hour making this:

                Yes, that is a TeenVogue collage on an old record :) I'm actually kind of proud of myself for being so artsy! 

I created it out of the February 2013 issue.
I'm totally for natural beauty and being yourself and when I read TeenVogue

I feel like I can do whatever I want or be whatever I want.

It also helps me realize that other people's opinions shouldn't bother me and 

I shouldn't focus on what they think about me. What's important is what I think about myself.

Later that evening I went with my brother, Chandler, and his family (our families are friends)
to go see "Delivery Man". I didn't think I would like it, but it was so funny!

Sunday

This is the day I go to church:) We celebrated Thanksgiving and it was a touching service.

Afterwards I went out with Chandler and his brother, Christian, to go watch Catching Fire.

I honestly didn't think Catching Fire was going to be a good movie.

The story line is actually terrible and I was not looking forward to it.
The whole idea of "Hunger Games"...it's just UGH.

I ended up liking the movie. a lot. 

Monday

ahhh Monday. Because of my schedule I didn't have to go in to public school yesterday! YAY!

In the morning I practiced and then went to the gym with my dad and Christian. 

We went to grab a bite to eat, then I had to rush over to go start recording my first full-length album, Hurricane!

What's made this such a great weekend is that I'm feeling really great about myself and the choices I'm making. I've realized that music is my passion and I've decided to go ALL OUT and give it all I have!

Not only am I working on Hurricane, but I also have a ton of other projects I'm working on! I hope that you'll continue following me on my journey. I know I'm not the best blog writer and that the only kind of writing I'm actually good at are speeches and music/poetry, but it means a lot that you take a few minutes out of your day to keep up with me!

MUA,

LG

Dare to Dream

This past week (since last Saturday) has been one amazing week.

I've learned so much about myself, who I am right now, and who I'm supposed to be. 

Jeremiah 29:11 has never lived so strongly in my heart until now.

Jeremiah 29:11

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Last Saturday I tried out for Paramount Idol ("american idol" but in my hometown only).

I made it to the 2nd round. As I was preparing for both rounds 1 & 2 I

could feel the Holy Spirit whispering to me, "Jeremiah 29:11".

So if I made it to the last round, He was still with me.

If I lost, He still has an awesome plan for me.

So let me challenge you this week. 

Challenge yourself and who you are.

Dare to dream.

Licensed

I'm licensed y'all. 

WHOOP WHOOP!!!

except i can't drive anywhere because I still have to get my insurance -_-

and I am not getting it until like Wednesday of next week so no driving

for me this weekend...but other than that... I AM ONE HAPPY GIRL! <3 p="">

What I've learned

[me and the sis]

I'm gonna be completely honest with you.

This past week and a half has been a complete struggle.

A lot is going on and i've been having some trouble, but i'm getting through it! :)

What I've really learned is that you have to surround yourself with loving people.

But loving people that won't sugar coat things and will tell you the truth. 

People that will be there for you and encourage you.

And people that put up with your stupid drama.

Most of all, surround yourself with people of your same beliefs and values.

You know what else I've come to realize? The road to redemption is here.

I don't know about you, but i'm going down this road.

In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace Ephesians 1:7 NIV

People send confusing messages all the time

People send confusing messages all the time. They say, "you're beautiful just the way you are." Two seconds later they tell you that you should workout more so your features will tone and blah and blah and blah.

 I HATE the "motivational" workout photos that people post saying, "if you don't give it your all, you Gave it nothing" And then they post some saying all you have to do is workout 15 minutes a day or workout little by little and you'll be fine even if you mess up your routine. 

 I'M JUST SO TIRED OF IT!!!!! It just makes me more insecure about myself. IM NOT PERFECT!!! And neither is the person posting those stupid things. It's unrealistic that everyone should have those stick thin bodies and if yo don't, you shouldn't feel bad about it. Just be healthy. 

It's also annoying because it just makes people feel worthless. Most people cannot achieve those bodies and they shouldn't try because some people have naturally curvy and big boned bodies.

Know who you are and try to be yourself.

And always remember that:

Cyber Bullying

This is me. All Smiles. On the outside.

But you would probably never ever guess the pain i've been through.

I'm not gonna go and tell you my whole long story or anything.

but I am gonna share part of it.

Cyber-Bullying.

I've been bullied since I was a little kid.

I've never been majorly cyber bullied because it's usually

done in real life, but cyber bullying is real.

it's mean. and it hurts. 

Just this past week I was told that I was ugly

and then the person completely insulted my family.

But you know what? I didn't cry. I wasn't hurt.

I know that this person is probably more insecure than

I am. That person isn't getting their way so they feel the 

need to hurt me. No, it's not okay, but I can sort of understand.

The point is, if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.