Dear 2013

Oh 2013...you were a truly amazing year...!!

The beginning of the year was incredible! I mean singing in California at the MCWE conference in front of a couple thousand people live and thousands more live streaming?! Amazing!!!!!!! 

Most people don't know this, but around February up until the end of March I was pretty depressed. Not with clinical depression, but definitely depressed enough that all I left the house with was jeans, a baggy t-shirt& baggy sweater, and of course no hair/makeup done.

Most people don't know the struggles I've faced. Or continue to face. The ones I'm overcoming. 

April was pretty eye opening though. That's when I started falling in love with Jesus again:)

Then in May I got my license..plus I was accepted into the National Honor Society. 

And the Summer was just so fun and made me so confident in who I am.

At the end of August I got to go to Tennessee and be at the life changing ICCM conference! What a way to start the school year! 

So high in the clouds because everything was going perfectly. I have my license, 3 jobs, school(which hasn't been going too great as far as grades), and I'm living the life I've dreamt about.

I also got accepted to Liberty university and started getting paid For MHB since I made that song with William Gooding!

I did get depressed a couple of times again in October/November/December, but it's all good now and I just want to thank God for helping me through it all. My life is wonderful and there isn't really anything I would change! 

My "resolution"?: love 

Fear

     At times I feel invincible. I feel like I'm on top of the world. It's hard to not feel like that when thousands of people are clapping for you. when hundreds of people are cheering you on. when on your birthday one of the most popular things people tell you is "Thank you for being so inspiring and always trying to make me smile".
     I have a great life. There isn't much I can complain about. I constantly find myself in these instantaneous bubbles of happiness which no negative comment could ever burst. But as quickly as they come, they go. Because every day of happiness is another day I wonder when my bubble will burst. Because uncertainty sometimes wins. Insecurity because of the unknown. Careful footsteps in the woods cautious of collapsing in a sink hole.
     Fear. Something that perfect love is supposed to cast out. When I find myself wrapped up in everything good and Holy, I find myself the happiest. That true Love really does cast out all my fears. All my worries. All my anxiety. All my insecurity. And I notice that the days I do not pray or invest time in reading my Bible...are the worst days. To trust in something you've never seen...to believe in someone greater than you... it's an inexplainable...beautiful feeling...It's also one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
     Facing fear is one of the most important things for me. I love confrontation. That's why I'm not afraid of many things. I'm definitely not very insecure. I know who I am and what I love. but when i look deep inside. 
when i look to the places i would rather leave unexplored, i'm afraid of being alone. no, not the kind of afraid you get when you're a little kid and still need to sleep with the light on. the fear of never getting married. the fear of not having any one who cares about you. the fear of not having any real friends. the fear of being forgotten.
     I hate going shopping alone. I hate being out alone. I hate going to the gym alone. I crave attention. Not a desperate attention. What I really seek for is acceptance. I'm not the type to reach out for attention, but because I'm such an extrovert people don't see me as someone who needs attention. Maybe what I really crave is love. Because as independent as I am, I am nothing without God. As independent as I am, I need love. Don't we all?

Going to College

Guess. What. 

I got an email Tuesday morning saying that I have officially been accepted. 

On Thursday I received a package from them with a t-shirt and I wore it to school yesterday because I'm cool like that😋 

I'm so excited and can't wait to see what God is doing in my life. I know there's even greater plans up ahead. 

For those of your wondering what my  major is, I've chosen Vocal Performance. All my life I've played it safe...but in the end, this is my life and no one else's to say "oh you should do this or that because it's more realistic". Singing IS my plan A and like any logical person, I have a plan B. The thing is that I'm shoving plan B to the back of my brain because it's not in the front of my heart. I can't let it distract me. Following and dedicating myself to my passion is one of the most thrilling things I've ever decided to do. 

MUA,

Lily Garay

The perfect weekend

when I say perfect, I mean happiest. sure, my weekends are usually filled with fun things, gigs, church, etc. but there was something different this weekend. also, when I say weekend I mean Friday (11/22) through Monday (11/25). 

Friday

It was just another average day at school. I try to make my most out of my time in highschool, but I still find it kind of pointless. Fortunately, it wasn't a completely terrible school day and I actually liked it. Probably because it was Friday and didn't involve any real work (except for English class of course). Anywho, I took the bus home and immediately left to go tutor Chan-the-man (his real name is Chandler).

It is an absolute joy to get to go to his house and help him learn some Spanish. Something about it just makes my day. He basically tells it like it is and is so funny! I also catch him trying to write love notes to me on his board because he thinks I'm his girlfriend. It's quite hilarious because whenever we go out he makes me hold his arm. Friday night was just really fun! Then I went to go to worship practice at 6:30. 

Saturday

I spent Saturday going to the gym, working on music, and using my phone. 

I also spent an hour making this:

                Yes, that is a TeenVogue collage on an old record :) I'm actually kind of proud of myself for being so artsy! 

I created it out of the February 2013 issue.
I'm totally for natural beauty and being yourself and when I read TeenVogue

I feel like I can do whatever I want or be whatever I want.

It also helps me realize that other people's opinions shouldn't bother me and 

I shouldn't focus on what they think about me. What's important is what I think about myself.

Later that evening I went with my brother, Chandler, and his family (our families are friends)
to go see "Delivery Man". I didn't think I would like it, but it was so funny!

Sunday

This is the day I go to church:) We celebrated Thanksgiving and it was a touching service.

Afterwards I went out with Chandler and his brother, Christian, to go watch Catching Fire.

I honestly didn't think Catching Fire was going to be a good movie.

The story line is actually terrible and I was not looking forward to it.
The whole idea of "Hunger Games"...it's just UGH.

I ended up liking the movie. a lot. 

Monday

ahhh Monday. Because of my schedule I didn't have to go in to public school yesterday! YAY!

In the morning I practiced and then went to the gym with my dad and Christian. 

We went to grab a bite to eat, then I had to rush over to go start recording my first full-length album, Hurricane!

What's made this such a great weekend is that I'm feeling really great about myself and the choices I'm making. I've realized that music is my passion and I've decided to go ALL OUT and give it all I have!

Not only am I working on Hurricane, but I also have a ton of other projects I'm working on! I hope that you'll continue following me on my journey. I know I'm not the best blog writer and that the only kind of writing I'm actually good at are speeches and music/poetry, but it means a lot that you take a few minutes out of your day to keep up with me!

MUA,

LG

11/12/13

I know today is 11/12/13...which is cool...but don't forget that tomorrow will be the only 11/13/13 you'll ever have and Thursday will be the only 11/14/13 you'll ever have and so on! Make the most of EVERY day!
Also, my new URL for this blog is: Lilygarayjournal.blogspot.com :)
 Xoxo

The country girl

I may not be a country girl, but my heart will always reside in the beauty of Virginia.

This is how I spent my weekend:)

My sweet friend, Esther.

Hannah:)

Bridal shower!

Apple orchard with the fam:)

Apples

Apple cider

One of the realizations I came to this weekend: it really truly does not matter what people think or say about me. I can do whatever I want and I can let people's opinions stop me!! People are going to talk no matter what...so I might as well give them a good reason! 

What love really means

The little boy I'm babysitting told me that his big brother gave him this sticker and he's been waiting all day to use it, but he wants to save it and then he said, "this is MY sticker you can't have it" so I said, "nope, it's mine" "no, it's my sticker" "no, it's mine" "you can't have it" "but I want it" "nope" and then he placed it on himself. I giggled and he ran around with his sticker. Later as I was helping his brother with some math he ran up to me and took off his sticker and said, "this is for you. I don't need it anymore." So I said, "Alec......" And I contemplated telling him to keep it because I know how it felt to have a brand new sticker and loving it...so I said, "thank you very much. I love you!" And then he said, "I love you more."  

And that right there is true love<3

P.s. He knows how to use my snapchat without me teaching him and he sent some of my friends a snap today! Hahaha 

SYATP 2013

See You at the Pole was yesterday and it was AMAZING! About 50 highschoolers came out to pray and it was just awesome. After we prayed I gave a short word of encouragement. Here is exactly what I said:

This life is a constant struggle of finding our purpose, calling, and destiny. Or so we think. We’re all highschool students. These 4 years about supposed to be about working hard, getting good grades, finding the right college, and picking a major. If you ask around, most seniors don’t know what they’re going to be majoring in, what their future holds, well goodness most don’t even know what their personal essays are going to be about. If you’ve grown up as a Christian, then you’re probably very familiar with Jeremiah 29:11, but have you ever read beyond that? Or maybe you have, but you just haven’t thought about it.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

New International Version (NIV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

God clearly shows us what we need to do in order to find the plans He has for us.

If we go to Proverbs 16 and read verses 1 & 3 it says:

16 To humans belong the plans of the heart,

   but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue.

3 Commit to the Lord whatever you do,

   and he will establish your plans.

Finally I want to encourage you by telling you that God has a great plan for your life. All His plans for you are perfect and planned, you just need to Trust Him. And if you’re anxious, well I have one last passage for that;)

Matthew 6:25-34

New International Version (NIV)

Do Not Worry

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Senior Pictures Part 1

So I always feel kind of vain posting these sorts of things. 

I kind don't like changing my profile picture (though I do it more often than I should).

and I'm always kinda awkward when I get compliments.

I don't really know where I am going with this, 

but here's the first set of senior pictures.

You'll get more later this week ;) 

Anyways these are my absolute favorites. soo...here ya go.

Fourth of July

*typical selfie snapchat sent to everyone on your contact list

*typical 4th meal at your typical block party

*your typical neighbor friend

*typical moonbounce

*Firefighters came to our block party to give us a tour of the truck. typical;)

*typical dad showing off his glitter tattoos that his daughters bought

at Claire's xD

Summer in 9,000 words

So far my summer has been great! how about yours?

Missing my dad

9 countries. 11 days. My daddy will be home on the 23rd. But no hug for Father's Day or for his birthday (the 22nd). You see, I'm daddy's girl. I consider myself his princess. In the past year he has taught me so so so much and we definitely have a special bond. Love, respect, honor, mercy, kindness, compassion...these are just a few of things my father has taught me, shown me, and what he is. He is my confidant and my friend. I'm so thankful and fortunate to have him in my life. There are so many kids that don't get to grow up with their dads. I can't imagine not growing up without my dad. He has guided me throughout everything in my life. Even through my biggest mistakes, he's stayed by my side.


As most of you know, I got my license a little over a month ago. You know, we're humans, we make mistakes. a couple of weeks ago I got into a little accident. nothing too major and it didn't involve anybody else. But I did kind of hit the car. Of course I had to tell my dad. I love him too much to lie, but I was too scared to say anything. I knew that as soon as I told him about what happened that I would never drive again.  ever. yes, my parents got upset, but you know what my dad told me the next day? That he loves me. That he trust me. He confides in me and that he wasn't going to take away my license, but he was going to let me drive to church. I was in awe. Why dad? Why would you let me drive again? And it was then, on June 2nd, that I understood the following scriptures:
Lamentations 3:22-23
22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

My dad was showing me a taste of the mercy that God gives. woah woah woah. If my dad can extend this act of mercy on something I consider to be a big deal...How much MORE does God love me and extend His mercy on even bigger mistakes that I make?!?! I'm so grateful for my dad because He has taught and is teaching me who God is. Not by forcing me to believe in God, but by my dad's actions. And that is one of the greatest lessons I have learned and will always carry with me. A true leader doesn't boss people around, they grab the front of the rope and show the workers how to pull it.

Dad, I love you.

As school comes to an end...

I still have about 2 1/2 weeks of school left..

but yesterday was the last day that Seniors were at school...

It was a bittersweet day. 

Sweet because I've made so many new friends this year,

something I didn't think possible.

Bitter because so many of my new friends are going

off to college. 

It's been an amazing year so far, but before I start crying I'll show you pictures.

Also, when school is over I'll have more posts about how my

year went and things i've gone through while finding myself.