Done with High School

So I wanna give a shout out to los Padres. Thank you thank you thank you for loving me enough to homeschool me, let me attend AHS, and intern throughout these 4 years of high school. You both allowed me so much creative freedom and always pushed me to do my best, pursue excellence, clean my room, and persevere. I know that I am truly blessed to have you both as parents.

Today was my last day of high school and I am SO glad!!!! Also, to top it all off, I received a letter from Divine Women of Destiny Ministries Intl saying that I won the Freddie Murray Colligate Scholarship.

Thank you to everyone who's been keeping up with me these last few years or even months. Your support and love is always appreciated.

--

Le quiero dar gracias a mis padres!! Gracias por siempre me empujarme a hacer lo mejor posible, buscar la excelencia, limpiar mi habitación, y perseverar  los quiero mucho.

Hoy fue mi ultimo día del colegio! Y para terminar el día, recibe una carta en el correo que dijo que yo recibe la beca de Freddie Murray.

Gracias a todos los que han amado y me han apoyado. Los aprecio mucho

Prayer Journal

Good morning Lord. I'm praying to you through the journaling method today. I love you. Like...a lot. I'm sorry that I don't always remember how much you love me.

Lately I've been battling with the same depression that I did last winter. Except this time not so severe. Not gonna lie though I have been feeling like a failure and pretty bummed out. I've been trying so so so so so so so hard in math. Going early, staying after school, doing all my homework..and yet my efforts seem wasted. My grade is a 66. My total grade for the year is a 65. I'm also failing English. But I honestly don't even try hard in that class so I understand that. I just need to write this essay thing.

Well anyways I just want to say thank you for loving me. For reminding me that you love me. For using my Honduran friends (and american friend, Jocelyn) to remind me of the hope that is you.

I have to go now because I have an SOL. I'm really scared I'm not going to pass it. Jesus, I seriously need your help. Just give me peace please.

Thanks,
Lily

McKenzie: AHS student organizes third local-music showcase

• 
• Posted on Mar 7, 2014
  by Bryan McKenzie
• 
  

If Coran Capshaw knows what’s best, he’ll negotiate an agreement with Lily Garay before she graduates high school.

Mr. Capshaw’s successful ventures into venues, and management of a variety of musical acts, has changed not only Central Virginia’s entertainment landscape but has had impact across the country.

Ms. Garay’s Lily Garay Music has had a more limited scope, primarily Albemarle High School, but her stock is on the rise.

Ms. Garay is a singer of pop music, but says her take on the genre is a far cry from Miley Cyrus and her naughty dancing teddy bears. Besides performing and writing music, she’s organizing shows for herself and others.

Discovering locals

“I’m a singer and I’m always looking for gigs and I thought if I’m looking for gigs, other artists must be, too,” she said. “I thought, why not put together a concert so local musicians can be discovered?”

On Sunday, Ms. Garay, 17, will present her third annual concert showcasing locals and raising money for the Bolivia Life Center, an orphanage in Cochabamba. The Life & Love Benefit Concert will go down at AHS with doors opening at 6:45 p.m.

No Fella Acapella and the Minutemen a capella group, both from AHS, will join guitarist Erica Cha, The Speak Easies, Ms. Garay, William Gooding, dancer Ana Garay and The Kairos Effect in the concert.

Look out, Mr. C. —Ms. G. finds the promoter’s role to be exciting, if exhausting.

Passion, not pressure

“The first time I did it, I never felt pressured or felt that it was a nightmare. I thought about it a lot and put a lot of time into it, but if you love it, it shouldn’t give you nightmares,” she said. “It helps having people who are helping you and people you can look up to. In the past, I had some volunteers but they had to drop out and that was stressful. This year they’ve stayed with it and it’s been great.”

Ms. Garay cites as inspiration for her organizational efforts her parents. Fernando and Hazael Garay, pastors of Iglesia RevoluZion Church in Stony Point. She also credits Andrea Copeland, of the Charlottesville Regional Chamber of Commerce.

“It’s great to have mentors who showed me the way,” she said. “I love performing and I love organizing the concerts. I’m hoping that, when I turn 18, I can get my [nonprofit tax status] and organize more benefits.”

stillness

there's nothing like feeling numb.

feeling as though you don't belong.

feeling forgotten and alone.

there's nothing like having God pick you up.

feeling loved and like you have a purpose.

feeling like there's meaning.

there's nothing like pushing your plans aside.

feeling like you don't have to do this on your own and that He's there.

feeling like everything will be okay.

when you trust in His stillness.

A Wish (part 1)

15 January 2014

A Wish

by Lily Garay

    I once saw something online that said, “When you look back you don’t want to have regrets.” It seems as though my life is full of regrets. Okay maybe that’s an over exaggeration. At least when I look back at my second to last semester of high school I have regrets. My senior year has definitely been memorable so far. I feel as though I’ve uncovered parts of myself I never knew existed. Freedom was within grasp and I reached for it. Testing my boundaries and toying with new ideas. Establishing my own views and beliefs and letting go of insecurities. I had never really realized that I was being shaped to become my own person and now I have the responsibility I always desired. I could finally make most of my own decisions. However all of this is only part of my discovery on the odyssey of my life and while the positives outweigh the negatives a piece of me has composed a wish. A long list of wishes, regrets, and things I could take back. Words I could’ve changed, things I should’ve done, and a life better lived. These are the pages I’ve been formulating in my head for months.

    I’m a firm believer in exploring and asking questions. Being raised as a pastor’s kid I would sometimes wonder if I was only a Christian because my parents were. Through much study, research, and personal experience I can firmly say that asking Jesus Christ to be the Lord and Saviour of my life was the best decision I have ever made. As I studied my Bible more I read about respecting your parents and how honoring them will bring you long life. I never really thought I was one to test my parents, but it turns out that even though I’m not a “problem child” I do need to have some more respect for the people that brought me into this world. I wish I would’ve realized that sooner. I wish I hadn’t silently cussed them out in my mind so many times. I wish I would do as I’m told right away. I wish I could be the favorite child.

    As I finish up my last semester of high school and prepare for college I realized that I don’t spend that much time at home anymore. I’ve gone a week or two without spending any real quality time with my parents or siblings. What I didn’t notice was that my younger sister, Ana who is 14 years old, looks up to me. I never thought I was the type of sister she would want to look up to, but she does. I didn’t know she missed me and she didn’t know I missed her. My younger brother, Dito who is 15 years old, also missed me. Turns out that he wished I spent more time with him. I got so caught up going out with friends and working that in my own whirlwind of needs that I didn’t realize my family needed me and I needed them. I wish I would’ve taken my sister bowling more. I wish I would’ve chaufferred her around more because in all honesty, I love it. I wish I would’ve held my brother’s hand more. I wish I would’ve played more video games with him.  I wish I could become the person they can always look up to. I wish I would’ve spent more time with them and less time with my “friends”. I wish I was a better sister.

    My sister tells me I’m beautiful and so does my brother. My dad has nothing but praise for me. This doesn’t mean that my weight hasn’t been a struggle for me. The most I ever weighed was one hundred and eighty pounds. Then I lost 40 of those pounds. It was wonderful. I had the most amazing confidence. Until the beginning of 2013. I allowed my past to creep into my mind. Depression nestled in the depths of my soul and told me I was worthless. Anxiety and loneliness lurked in the darkness of my mind. And food eased the pain. Food stopped me from regretting things. Food took my mind off things. Food was my friend. I steadily gained back 25 pounds. 25 pounds of pure regret. 25 pounds because someone told me I shouldn’t eat that donut. 25 because someone said if I lost just 10 more pounds I would be drop dead gorgeous. 25 pounds because the media said if I didn’t look like Kim Kardashian my life was pointless and I would be forever alone because there’s no way a girl over 140 pounds is “desirable”. But I wish I would’ve worked out harder. I wish I would’ve still eaten that donut. I wish I would’ve had that extra slice of pizza. I wish I didn’t worry about what others said. I wish people would stop pointing out my flaws.

    My greatest fear is being alone. Actually my greatest fear is all of my teeth falling out, but being alone is definitely second. When I look to the places I would rather leave unexplored it’s really the fear of never getting married. The fear of not having any one who cares about you. The fear of not having any real friends. The fear of being forgotten. But when it comes down to it, I wish I would’ve cried less. I wish I would’ve laughed more. I wish I would’ve said what was really on my mind. I wish I hadn’t so carelessly flaunted my opinions and rude words. I wish someone wanted me as much I want them.

    I wish I wouldn’t have wasted time. I wish I wouldn’t have wasted money. I wish I would’ve done better. I wish I would’ve tried harder. I wish I would’ve gotten all A’s in school. I wish I wouldn’t have procrastinated. I wish I could be a size medium. I wish I never worried. I wish I wasn’t so full of contradictions. I wish I didn’t have so many thoughts always running through my head. I wish I would’ve prayed more.

   As I ponder my past there are many words I wish I could take back. Actions that I could erase. But I can’t because it’s behind me and a wish is simply a feeling. As the new year rapidly closes up it’s first month, I have no doubt that these wishes are something I can finally push aside so that I can start anew. Because the last thing I want is to carry those wishes with me to the very last of my days. Dear Fresh Start, I welcome you. It’s my time to flourish and be the best I can be.

Dare to Dream

This past week (since last Saturday) has been one amazing week.

I've learned so much about myself, who I am right now, and who I'm supposed to be. 

Jeremiah 29:11 has never lived so strongly in my heart until now.

Jeremiah 29:11

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Last Saturday I tried out for Paramount Idol ("american idol" but in my hometown only).

I made it to the 2nd round. As I was preparing for both rounds 1 & 2 I

could feel the Holy Spirit whispering to me, "Jeremiah 29:11".

So if I made it to the last round, He was still with me.

If I lost, He still has an awesome plan for me.

So let me challenge you this week. 

Challenge yourself and who you are.

Dare to dream.

What I've learned

[me and the sis]

I'm gonna be completely honest with you.

This past week and a half has been a complete struggle.

A lot is going on and i've been having some trouble, but i'm getting through it! :)

What I've really learned is that you have to surround yourself with loving people.

But loving people that won't sugar coat things and will tell you the truth. 

People that will be there for you and encourage you.

And people that put up with your stupid drama.

Most of all, surround yourself with people of your same beliefs and values.

You know what else I've come to realize? The road to redemption is here.

I don't know about you, but i'm going down this road.

In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace Ephesians 1:7 NIV

Cyber Bullying

This is me. All Smiles. On the outside.

But you would probably never ever guess the pain i've been through.

I'm not gonna go and tell you my whole long story or anything.

but I am gonna share part of it.

Cyber-Bullying.

I've been bullied since I was a little kid.

I've never been majorly cyber bullied because it's usually

done in real life, but cyber bullying is real.

it's mean. and it hurts. 

Just this past week I was told that I was ugly

and then the person completely insulted my family.

But you know what? I didn't cry. I wasn't hurt.

I know that this person is probably more insecure than

I am. That person isn't getting their way so they feel the 

need to hurt me. No, it's not okay, but I can sort of understand.

The point is, if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.

What is Love?

The Bible tells us the actions of LOVE. 

1 Cor. 13 

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind.

 It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It even gives us a picture of love. Jesus. 

For me, love is displayed through relationships

and the things you do in those relationships.

Not just boyfriend/girlfriend relationships,

but friendships, mother/daughter/son/daddy,

siblings, family, etc. 

Relationships are God's love here on earth.

At least that's what they're supposed to be anyways.

Sometimes we can get into the wrong relationship.

sometimes we make a mistake.

sometimes a person is there only for a season or for a lesson.

Whatever the case, just cherish moments. 

and learn from each relationship you ever have.

because that's what will make you grow.

Here are a few people/moments 

that I just L<3ve p="">

National Free Hug Day? ;)

XoXo,

Lily Garay

Growing up...

I can't believe I'm actually writing this post. Guys, I'm starting to look at colleges.... I know I know... freaky.
Just like I can't believe I'm 16, turning 17 this year, turning 18 next year. Finish junior year in like 3 months, becoming a senior this year, taking senior photos, graduating next year. Ah!!! It's SOOOOO exciting and I'm loving every little bit and piece of it :)

I've also opened up my own bank account and now have my own debit card....woahh

So on Monday I was looking at my top school of choice, Regent University. We went to a "Discover U" event where they showed us the campus, a classroom experience, financial seminar, student panel, (free lunch), and dorm touring... For those of you who don't know where Regent is... It's located 14 miles from VA Beach. For those of you who don't know what Regent is: Regent is a Christian University dedicated to excellence and leadership. They want to train you to discover your purpose and help you pursue it.

It has a 17:1 student to teacher ratio and a small campus. Which I love! They have the programs and opportunities I want and need. But enough chit-chat. Here are some photos from Monday:)

Chapel (in construction)

Welcome

Their "logo"

hehe :)

class experience

walking

just a little excited...

And then I came home and decided to try out my new 

Split Cam app for ipod/iphone/ipad.

(promise this is not an advertisement/paid review)

But my brother failed me....

you'll notice the mistake if you keep looking at it;)

Well love birds,

XoXo

I'm not fat

but i'm not skinny either.
and I'm determined to stop
gaining and losing weight.
over and over and over again.
so what's my goal here?
125 by summer time.
last day of school I will
weight myself.
i will be 125.
but in between that time
i will try not to weigh myself.
instead i will try to be healthier
feel healthier.
live healthier.
and i will be 125.
i'm tired of this up and down.
the last time i was 125 was probably
when i was 11 or 12.
that's right.
4ish years ago.
it's time.

starting weight?
157

yikes i know. i lost so much over the summer
and i gained it right back
because i didn't care.
i'm not sure i ever really cared.
until now.
because it's over.
the old me has to leave.
i'm forcing it out.

i've been reading this new blog called Tales of Good Man Friday...
you can check it out here.
the post that Andy did today
and well... has been doing everyday,
has really inspired me.
but not just inspired me to sit here
and be inspired.
but inspired me to be encouraged
and go out there and do something.

so
i'm welcoming the new, happier, healthier...me
because i'm done being tired, of being tired.